Wrestle Wipe 2019: April-June

April

– Eli Drake commented on a photo of Jordynne Grace and Killer Kross having a staredown, and decided to take inter-gender wrestling to task.

Jimmy Jacobs quickly fired back a response to Eli in a (now deleted) tweet;

“This is a fundamentally wrong. Wrestling is absolutely not rooted in realism, which is self evident to anyone who’s seen a real fight. It’s rooted in storytelling, characters, drama & emotion. To correlate realism with audience growth is 100% wrong.”

– PROGRESS’ Super Strong Style 16 line-up is announced throughout the month and it is made up of a lot of imports and some questionable additions who have rarely, if ever, worked for PROGRESS but just so happen to now have ties to WWE/NXT.

– For the second year in a row, measles breaks out in the WrestleMania host city during the festivities due to wrestling fans inability to wash and get vaccinated.

– Triple H and Stephanie McMahon spend the day with Rick Rubin. Later in the day, Rubin posts on Twitter for the first time in five years with this; “Overconfidence is often a compensation for hidden insecurity”.

Credit to @BossMoz for the screen caps.

– At the WXW WrestleMania weekend show, David Starr cuts a promo on WWN, WXW and WWE. Topics include WWE attempting to kill off indy wrestling, lackluster healthcare and WWE’s lack of a union.

– IPW’s ill-advised WrestleMania weekend show turns out to be a shambles

– The ROH/New Japan MSG show takes place; the New Japan stuff is all right, but most of the ROH booking is fucking tragic. Having the biggest platform of the promotion’s existence, ROH decided to showcase Matt Taven, The Beautiful People and Enzo & Cass.

– GCW debuted Dustin ‘No Legs’ Thomas and had the incredible, groundbreaking Invisible Man vs Invisible Stan match at Spring Break, both to critical acclaim.

– Bret Hart mentions Vince McMahon during his Hall Of Fame speech, which causes the very normal Vince McMahon to flip his lid and take out his rage on the writer responsible for the segment; RD Evans. RD is then fired/quits on the spot.

– A fan tries to attack Bret Hart at the Hall Of Fame. He is swiftly taken down by the roster and security, and Dash Wilder pops him in the head.

– Kofi Kingston becomes WWE Champion by defeating Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania. A historically important moment and an utterly fantastic match

– Sami Callihan becomes the new Virgil when he is photographed at an empty merch table whilst a massive queue is forming for the table next to him. Annoyingly, I cannot source a photo of this as Gabe Saposkly originally tweeted it and his account his currently locked due to 2020 drama, but that’s a story for another time.

– During a Twitch stream where you can pay money to get insulted by a wrestlers (a niche kink if there ever was one), Rhea Ripley calls a paying fan a homophobic slur. Rhea issued an apology very soon afterwards, & some Australian fans whined about “PC Culture”.

– AEW sign The Dark Order, and a couple thousand PWG and CHIKARA fans rejoice. Everyone else scratches their heads.

– Kid Lykos retires due to another in a long line of injuries.

– CM PUNK RETURNS TO WRESTLING under a mask for MKE Wrestling, where he hit a Go 2 Sleep in front of a few hundred people.

May

– A fan travels all the way from Israel to Japan to start shitty chants at wrestling shows. He causes a scene and makes everyone feel uncomfortable. He gets photos with women wrestlers and censors any exposed skin. Fucking wrestling fans, man.

– Undertaker does a meet’n’greet tour of the UK, where fans pay triple figures just to get a photo with a bored and glum Mark Calaway in his hoodie and beanie.

– In an interview, Lio Rush talks about how he can’t even cover his own road expenses and how he isn’t getting any royalties for his merch. He was also doing $20 cameos just to help support himself and his family.

– There’s a super dumb angle on RAW where WWE attempt to humiliate The Revival by having them get caught on camera helping each other manscape.

– In the most insane spot of the year, Matthew Justice DVD’s Joshua Bishop off a balcony through four tables.

– Ashley Massaro tragically passes away.

– “Those are joshi girls, the company they work for is called ‘Joshi’” – Chris Jericho previewing the women’s match set for AEW Double Or Nothing on his podcast.

– Jon Moxley, in his first interview since leaving WWE, sets the company on fire when he chats to Jericho about WWE’s many, many problems. This is also where the “It’s such good shit” McMahon meme is born.

– Cody destroys a throne with a sledgehammer at AEW Double Or Nothing, prompting very good (bad) Twitter discourse. Also, The Dark Order debuts and everybody, barring myself and ex-members of CZWfans, collectively scratch their heads.

– After a great year having blow-away matches with Will Ospreay and Zack Sabre Jr, A-Kid debuts at the NXT-UK tapings as we all bury our heads in our hands.

– Joey Janela and Chantal Jordan wrestle in a bus and in a chicken shop in Coventry.

June

– Lyle C Williams, prolific wrestling photographer most famous for his CZW coverage, sadly passes away.

– Bully Ray pulls a fan backstage and chews him out for jeering at his missus. He infamously tells the guy to head back to his seat and “go be a fan”.

– WILL OSPREAY VS SHINGO HAPPENS AT BEST OF THE SUPER JUNIORS AND WE ALL REJOICE! PRO WRESTLING, BABY! PRO FUCKING WRESTLING!!!

– Matt Riddle starts his online feud with Goldberg with various jibes around his skills and his performance, specially taking aim at Goldberg’s match with The Undertaker at Super Showdown

– Everyone and their mum announced at Dominion that they were going to be in the G1 climax. KENTA debuted to a raucous reaction. Ibushi almost decapitated himself with a German Suplex on the apron. Wrestling Twitter all take an intermission during the G.O.D match.

– NXT-UK held tapings at Download Festival. It was quiet, it was raining, and some folk actually choose to watch this instead of, oh I don’t know, getting drunk and watching bands.

– WWE announced that immediately following Super Showdown they would air a special encore of “Revolutionary: The Year of Ronda Rousey”, probably as some sort of karma-balancing exercise.

– Pete Dunne has a go at David Starr for stepping on the UK title in an OTT match with WALTER.

– UK Independent wrestling star and BritWres staple Lionheart sadly passes away.

– Chris Brookes does a few DDT shows and is incredibly successful, ingraining himself with the promotion wonderfully. This includes doing a figure four down a water slide and playing goalkeeper for a football-playing elephant.

– Non-native New Japan fans throw a wobbler because NJPW restrict their ability to buy floor seats at WK14. It’s very easy to understand NJPW’s position due to that infamous dork who chanted shit at the Cinderella Tournament earlier in the year.

– ‘Wrestling Isn’t Wrestling’ creator and PWG Pizza Party Pervert Max Landis is accused of emotional and sexual abuse by at least 8 women. He quickly deletes his Twitter. Good riddance.

– Will Ospreay and Seth Rollins get into it on Twitter. Rollins comes off like a total twat when he starts talking about the size of his bank account. This officially marks Rollin’s downturn of popularity on Twitter, along with comments about Moxley “taking his ball and going home”.

– In an interview, Tommy Dreamer revealed that he planned to hop the rail at WrestleMania 17 and shoot Paul Heyman at the commentary desk before turning the gun on himself.

– WWE announce that they’ll be streaming an EVOLVE show live, and it’s conveniently at the same time as AEW’s Fight For The Fallen PPV. Weird that. A WWE press release describes EVOLVE as “the pinnacle of independent wrestling”. Fucking hell.

– “Dude you’re 28, the son of Scott Hall and you’re not signed anywhere nor get any notable dates…Get your fucking act together Chico…” – Joey Janela on Cody Hall.

– Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff are announced as the new Executive Directors of RAW & Smackdown respectively.

– On the AEW Fyter Fest pre-show, Michael Nakazawa vs Alex Jebailey have a massive, massive shitheap of a match and it being on the pre-show wasn’t the best advertisement for the AEW product.

– Also at AEW Fyter Fest, Joey Janela and Jon Moxley go to war. The Dark Order, backstage skits and The Librarians continue to raise concerned eyebrows though.

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